Film: Night Patrol
Directed by: Jackie Kong
Written by: Murray Langston, William Levey, William Osca, and Jackie Kong
Starring: Linda Blair as Officer Sue Perman
Pat Paulson as Officer Kent Lane
Jaye P. Morgan as Kate Parker
Billy Barty as Captain Lewis
Murray Langston ( The Unknown Comic) as Officer Melvin White
Pat Morita as Rape Victim
By Efferdent Johnson
Pre-screening memories: I have the attention span of a squirrel. You drive down the road and one of those little suckers sprints to get out of your way, then, at the last second, decides to dart in the opposite direction…right in front of your car.
This is why films like Night Patrol seemed to be envisioned with someone like me in mind. If the shiny object they just dangled failed to get my attention, there was another just waiting in the wings.
Youtube is custom tailored for my span of concentration.. “Ha ha ha… look at that hedgehog!” Click. “Ow. They guy got it right in the babymaker!” Click. “I wonder if I have any Mentos in the kitchen to put in a bottle of Coke?”
I can’t say how my life would have been different if I had never been subjected to “The Unknown Comic”. A comparison is difficult. Who knows how anything in their life would turn out given some miniscule change in direction or decision about having a Diet Pepsi or a Yoo Hoo.
I’ll try and explain just a little more.
Like, for example, what would have happened back in junior high if my friend Scott Stihl had not pulled my shorts down to my ankles during a co-ed physical education class. Shrinkage my ass! My adolescent turtle head disappeared into its shell faster than a Venus Flytrap closes around its prey. I only guess that my dating life for the following few months was adversely affected. But really can anyone know for sure? I do know Scott did just fine.
I first recall the Unknown Comic from the Gong Show . With a paper bag in place over his head telling jokes that while not really being funny, still made me laugh due to his manic behavior. Maybe I’d be able to construct some sort of logical joke if not for that mysterious humorist.
How many New Orleans Saints fans would there be today if not for the ability to hide there faces during home games? My question is though, are they covering their domes due to shame or is there an ulterior motive? I think they may be getting around the high cost of beer by using that bag to sniff a little model airplane glue during the game.
I didn’t know how Night Patrol would affect my life when I saw it decades ago. I didn’t think there would be any influence, but I was so wrong. I tell you now that it wasn’t the humor of the flick. It certainly wasn’t how many movies after it followed the same incongruous, shtick-inspired, thematic methods. It didn’t help me forget my good friends Scott’s cute little trick.
From what I recalled, the film was more than just a sexed-up Police Academy knock-off. Sure, there were breasts, but there was also an large amount of left-field humor to keep my attention-deficited brain happily rolling along.
The only explanation I can give is directly connected to the podcastI was almost a part of with Mr. Rector, our illustrious host, and, of course, Kitten. I will be able to laugh about Night Patrol for the rest of my life, and I won’t have to recall the movie in any way.
Kitten, thank you so much. I have just recently been able to remove the Ace bandage that I put in place to repair the damage from all the belly laughter.
A note from the editor:As though we’ve channeled Salt N’ Pepa for this broadcast, let’s talk about sex, baby! Look, people, we’re talking to a former Russ Meyer gal and former porn star, so if you think this podcast is going to be the typically family-friendly -bad-words-bleeped-out endeavor, you are sadly mistaken. There would be little left.
In other words, don’t come crying to us and tell us we did not warn you when your child learns some spicy new words because you forgot to turn the speakers down. Anyway, on with the show…
‘Night Patrol’ with Kitten Natividad R-rated podcast:You can download the podcast here, or listen in the player below:
Our featured guest: Pinup icon. Russ Meyer gal. Actress. Stripper. Dancer. Legend.
Francesca “Kitten” Natividad
has endured in an industry not known for its kindness. Using her gifted measurements to launch her career, Natividad received the attention of legendary boob man Russ Meyer, who cast her in two of his films, as a narrator of Up!, then as the star of Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens (penned by a certain esteemed Chicago film critic).
Natividad and Meyer lived together for the about 12 years, and continued to dabble in film acting (48 Hrs., Night Patrol) as well as nude modeling. Ms. Natividad was not shy in revealing the roller coaster that was her history and we are quite thankful for all the tales she tells to us while recounting her cameo role in the underground comedy Night Patrol.
Thank you, Francesaca for being so honest and open and we certainly wish for you the sexiest years ahead.