MGM roars back with… A shit load of remakes and sequels?

I know a lion’s gotta eat, but this is a bit ridiculous.

At the same time it was announced that 2011 is now the most sequelly year ever (27 are slated, which translates to one every other week), we were greeted without the news that MGM pulled itself from the bowels of bankruptcy by announcing five remakes/continuations.

It’s understandable that the studio would dust off some chestnuts to ensure some box-office familiarity, but others seem like curious choices to trumpet it’s return.

Here’s what’s in the works:

“Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters”: A 3-D futuristic retelling of the Brothers Grimm fable (which was most notably made at the tail end of the Cannon era and starred David Warner and Cloris Leachman). This remake is to be co-financed by Paramount and will star Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton.

“Mr. Mom”: This is one I can totally see, and while I hold fond memories for the original, it’s by no means beloved. Of course, its premise is not as novel anymore (a father? Home raising his children? Absurd!!!), it’s always fun to see ill-prepared dads dealing with the toddlers.

“The Idolmaker”: Another one that is fair game, but a curious choice, indeed. Taylor Hackford’s all-but-forgotten 1980 flick based on the life of Bob Marcucci, who discovered Fabian and Frankie Avalon. The new version will be retrofitted for the “American Idol” generation, but details beyond that are sketchy.

“Robocop”: Ouch. This stings. The beloved Detroit officer that runs on Microsoft Office, had threatened to hit screens last year, with Darren Aronofsky taking over for Paul Verhoven as director. Aronofsky has since moved on to pick up the “Wolverine” sequel (an equally depressing thought) and is now said to be getting his religion on afterward with an adaptation of “Noah” (really?).

“Poltergeist”: Another film that has long been in the rumor mill is set to return with a fresh coat of paint. Have filmmakers learned nothing from the “Poltergeist” curse?(http://www.snopes.com/movies/films/poltergeist.asp).

Advertisements

5 Comments

  1. If they do a Poltergeist remake and include a clown scene it should be more like the Scary Movie 2 scene instead. I’d be smoking a cigarette afterwards if I was that kid because that clown wouldn’t be walking for a week or so. Though seriously, aside from Mr. Mom those remakes appear like they could be very profitable given a special effects 3-D revamp. Perhaps Mr. Mom was part of a package deal, you had to buy those rights to make the others, but really since the film Mr. Mom its premise has been redone literally a hundred of times on TV and film.

  2. And here I thought the 80’s-raping will be over by now.

    But as many have pointed out, the main blame lies with audiences who refuse to see new non-vbrand films and instead go see such remakes/sequels. Can’t blame studios for taking the easy path then.

  3. Coincidentally I just recorded a review of Mr Mom! Spooky.

    It was pretty bad though. I can’t see a remake being anything other than irritating.

  4. The Robocop remake has been in development hell for quite sometime. I honestly don’t see it being remade. Frankly, the original was perfect, in my opinion. I don’t want to see a remake. Would probably be PG13 as well (lol).

    Poltergeist doesn’t need to be remade either. The original scared the pants off of me as a kid. I doubt them trying to recreate that perfectly.

    A remake of Mr Mom??? That one totally confuses me. I did see it a billion times as a kid. I mean it was on TV all the time back in the 80’s. But the storyline doesn’t make any sense in today’s world. And as a result, unless you grew up in the 80’s like I did, the movie hasn’t aged well at all.

    A futuristic retelling of Hansel and Gretel? I really am at a loss of words with that one.

    I can see a remake of The Idolmaker only because of the subject matter. I think out of any of these proposed remakes that one could possibly be successful.


Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

  • Now Flixster Certified!

  • BEETLEJUICE with GLENN SHADIX

  • LIONHEART with HARRISON PAGE

  • CLUE with director JONATHAN LYNN

  • NIGHTBREED with co-star SIMON BAMFORD

  • POPCORN with star DEREK RYDALL

  • CADDYSHACK with co-star CINDY MORGAN

  • THE WRAITH with co-star CHRIS NASH

  • THE LONELY LADY with co-star JARED MARTIN

  • darkcrystalsmall

    THE DARK CRYSTAL with puppeteer DAVE BARCLAY

  • mischiefsmall

    MISCHIEF with stars DOUG McKEON and CATHERINE MARY STEWART

  • christinesmall

    CHRISTINE with ALEXANDRA PAUL

  • rockulasmall

    ROCKULA with writer/director LUCA BERCOVICI

  • justonesmall

    JUST ONE OF THE GUYS with STU CHARNO

  • buffysmall

    BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER with producer DENNIS MURPHY, fx artist HANK CARLSON

  • tremorssmall

    TREMORS with co-star CHARLOTTE STEWART

  • 3oclocksmall

    THREE O'CLOCK HIGH REUNION with co-stars CAITLIN O'HEANEY, SCOTT TILER and LIZA MORROW

  • visionquestsmall

    VISION QUEST with author TERRY DAVIS

  • westwordlsmall

    WESTWORD with co-star JARED MARTIN

  • SKI PATROL with star Roger Rose

    skipatrolmini
  • BEAT STREET with Ralph Rolle

    beatstreet
  • NIGHT OF THE COMET with Kelli Maroney

    nightofcomet
  • Support Natsukashi: Visit 80s Tees

  • RAD with its star Bill Allen

    radsmall
  • HOUSE with its writer Ethan Wiley

    housesmall
  • THE TERROR WITHIN with its fx artist Bruce Barlow

    terrorwithinsmall
  • HARLEY DAVIDSON and the MARLBORO MAN with actor Jordan Lund

    harleysmall
  • TROLL with fx artist Jim Aupperle

    trollsmall
  • AMERICAN GRAFFITI with ‘Kip Pullman’

    americangraffiti

  • THE BLACK HOLE

    balckholesmall
  • RETURN FROM WITCH MOUNTAIN

    witchmountainsmall
  • THE GREAT MUPPET CAPER

    muppetcapersmall
  • BABY: SECRET of the LOST LEGEND

    babysmall
  • SWAMP THING

    swampthingsmall
  • NIGHT OF THE DEMONS

    nightofdemons
  • THE GIANT of MARATHON

    giantmarathonsmall
  • wordpress
counter